Sunday, April 11, 2010

I LOVE



please forgive me if whatever it was i said before you left for your work, had hurt your feelings. I never meant to make you feel bad in anyway. how could i hurt someone who saved me from the deepest darkness i created in me and give me life, like i wanted it to be?


You know me by now; you are the only person I know who could cope with my antics. I know I shouldn't make you shed your manly tears, but what's done cannot be undone. 


Oh it hurt me like knives plunged into my heart to see you like that. and for 
that, i am so sorry and believe me, it was never my intention to do so.


Your tears didn't make you weak,my dear.. but it shows to me that you are a man with a heart. and you are not afraid with what you truly feel. and to me, it is a reminder that the man who hold my hand, embraced me and whisper in my ears and wiped away my tears when he was also holding back his, is sincerely loving me. 


I am forever surrounded by 'actors' who played and manipulated the innocent hearts, and I for once, would bet everything me, that those tears were genuine. Please don't ask me why I'm so sure; I just do. My heart could felt yours breaking. I felt the frustration and regrets through quivers of your lips when you fail to say what your mind wanted you to.  


You felt as if you failed me because you have to leave me in the midst of a battle we are suppose to fight together. I am forever resenting myself for making you feel that way. All the chaos we are dealing with, had made me weak. How could I be so ignorant to your feelings, your sacrifices for me, for us all this while? Forgive me, my dear for I am still learning to be a better me; for us.


I would be lying if I said I didn't mind you leaving.I wouldn't be crying all night long and day, would I? I chanted 'I couldn't do this without you' so many times it became part of my blood; and my mind. I know I couldn't, but there's no stopping you..because a responsibility, is still a responsibility. 


So go, my dear. Wipe away those tears, clear your mind and your heart and focus on what you have to do. I am praying for your safety, and praying I am courageous enough to face this alone. Promise me you'll come home safely for I'll be waiting. Get it done over there, and come home to me.


Remember,
I love you.





5 left comments..you?:

fAriefArihan said...

sweeeeeet~ :)

ilyani said...

love is beautiful :)

Nay-MrsNurl said...

=) ..

noirjewelry said...

kenapaka?

Nay-MrsNurl said...

nuthing to worry,meng..biasalah urusan2 keluarga nie.alhamdulillah, all is better now..

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